How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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