I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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