i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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