Just cropdusted the office
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
