Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
