he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
