you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
