So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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