I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
vagina is talking i cant
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
