i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
the liver wants what the liver wants
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
