she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
