i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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