I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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