69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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