Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize