Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
