Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
