She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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