So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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