Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
