Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
