if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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