ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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