i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
