if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
