is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
