with your own penis?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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