I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
