i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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