I don't remember. Are we still dating?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
