is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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