What did we do last night that was yellow?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
