I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
