Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
