I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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