So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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