I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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