We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
