I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
