so that wasnt chicken after all
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
