How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
