No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
