What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
