If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
