Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
