I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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