After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
