Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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