How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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