are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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