I hope mine doesn't look like that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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