i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
