Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize