I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
