I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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