You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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