We're facebook friends in real life
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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