Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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