So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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