I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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