his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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