Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
