note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
