u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
