just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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