OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
